English thoughts

1st: About procrastination and how to fight it

This is one of the articles written on a subject reccommended by you, my readers. Thank you, Paula, for breaking the ice. 🙂

That I am procrastinating you already know. I am actually the queen of procrastination. Or I was, as I am losing my skills little by little. And that is mainly thanks to my personal trainer, the Peacemaker. He applied the agile methods on me and it worked. It took him more than one year and a lot of determination, but results are starting to show. Paper notes, paper schedules, google calendar, reminders, Trello, mails, and self-organizing methods were only few of the tools he used on me. Plus tones of patience.

We were convinced it’s working when I made the first schedule on Trello all by myself. And I almost followed it. Hey, don’t get me wrong here! I said it’s starting to show some results, not that I’ve managed to beat it. I am still procrastinating and mostly the important things. Which is painful, because it’s in my own detriment. But somehow it’s bigger than me. It’s controlling me.
I know how that sounds. I don’t like how things are now. I am working on that and it’s a continuous and assiduous work. But hey, as long as I see some results there, I will continue doing it!

Things I’ve managed to not postpone anymore: improving my CV, meditation, reading, sports. There is still a biiiiig list of things waiting to be done. Some of them on a daily basis, others just once. It’s not like I don’t see them or that I forget I need to do them. It’s just that I all the time find something else (always less important and less urgent) to do instead. Of course I feel sorry at the end of the day for not being stronger and more determined than that. Of course I start it all over the second day. Of course I am aware that it’s only up to me to change things. But sometimes I am only human. With limitations and fears. Because, let’s admit it… there are things we don’t do because we are afraid of the possible results.

It might sound silly, but sometimes having a job in France can be damn scary. I do want to not stay at home and to have an interesting activity which is well paid, BUT…what if I am not good enough? What if I am not able to do the job? What if it’s too much for me? How the hell am I going to speak and write in French all day long? It is the same for making new friends and doing new things. There is all the time a little voice in my head asking all these scary questions. I just need to learn how to change my answers into more positive and encouraging ones. Then the procrastination will not make sense anymore. Because then I will just be doing fun and interesting things, of which I am not afraid to try. Failure is also human…

So right now I am working on myself. Because, in the end, procrastination is being fed by very personal reasons. For this control freak is the fear of not being perfect or not making things in the perfect way. This is my idea of failure.

Sure, using the different tools that are now available, it helps. Friends help, too, when they are willing to be your reminders for doing things right and a dose of motivation from time to time. The power of example helps, too. But they are worthless without the power of will. Determination. The extra mile. Breaking the barriers. As I was saying, procrastination is personal.

Hello, I am Octavia. I am a professional procrastinator. I am sure I have a diploma of excellence in the school of procrastinators. But I am in the process of intentional failure. Failing as a procrastinator is my target. Who wants to help me fail? Who wants to fail with me? Let’s support and motivate each other and beat this shitty habit out! We ARE stronger than that! And better! We simply forget it from time to time….

(The French version: “proscratination”)

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