This one goes to Simona Mitran, who specifically requested an article to which she can come back whenever she might need some lifting words. So….here it is:
I’ve got one of my best friends and my future business partner with my over-laughing (yes, it exists!) and I’ve got my life partner with my smile. I’ve kept my friends with my positivism and I’ve helped myself with not paying too much attention to the bad side of life. You might as well call me a quite positive person and almost all the time smiling. I’ve even made a presentation about the benefits of smile.
But it doesn’t always come easy. It’s not all the time obvious. Sometimes we even feel that there is nothing positive in the story! But there is. All the time. Even if we don’t see it right away. And now it’s personal experience talking.
Last December, on 23rd, I received a call letting me know that the job I was supposed to start in few weeks will no longer happen, as the project was stopped. I had been already waiting for the job to start for about 3 months and even did some voluntary work on it. I was really impatient to finally start working after 5 months of searching. It hit me quite badly. I cried and felt as there is no hope left. I was back at the starting point and I was feeling out of any power for starting it all over. BUT I had the Peacemaker’s shoulders and his confidence that things are going to be better, even if it’s not obviously at the moment. Oh, and how he was right!
The last 8 months have been a real challenge for my mind. Having no friends of my own (after more than 8 years of beautiful friendships which I had to leave at Bucharest), no family close to me, no job, no extra incomes, no other interesting occupation during the day except job searching and house work. Reading and writing were helping but only up to a point. So I’ve started to fall apart. I’ve started to doubt myself and my abilities. I’ve started to lose my motivation and determination. I was even losing my smile… and that scared me the most.
I started to meditate and to understand what is going on the inside of me. Once I was able to put them in words, I started to share them with my husband. He listened and encouraged me to keep going. So I did. But, the most important, I started to appreciate the little things that were offered to me every day. The coffee in the morning, between loving kisses, the pleasure of writing my article, the beautiful smells while cooking my lunch, every ray of sunshine resting on the terrace, a walk in the city, extra working hours offered when least expected, writing the motivation letters and discovering myself little by little, knowing better and better what I want and, most important, what I don’t want, going to a free concert in the middle of the day, visiting the city library, meeting new people, a dog on the street, a hot coffee to go in a cold winter day, playing with somebody else’s kids, an evening with friends, a compliment about my language progress, finishing to read my first book in French and the 2nd and the 3rd, writing e-mails in French all by myself, the little bird coming on the terrace every day for food, being stopped on the street and asked for directions, people smiling to me on the street and smiling back to them, doing some voluntary work, finding my MBA, killing my brain with mathematic exercises, painting, bike riding, resting in the arms of the most wonderful man…
Little by little I’ve come to realize that it is all depending on us. How we react to what is happening in our life is our choice. So chose well!
Being unemployed for 8 months is not a dream I had, but a reality. It helped me discover the free and cheap ways to have fun. I learned how to appreciate more the moments and not the things. I’ve got further from my incipient shopping addiction and closer to books and principles, ideas. The most important of all is that I’ve got closer to myself, thanks to all the time I’ve been obliged to spend just with me. And it got me the courage of finally starting my own business.
Looking back I understand what the Peacemaker was telling me on December 23rd: it was the best for me to not have that job. Or any other job. Because now I will have MY job.
I’ve also learned to trust. Trust that everything will be ok. That it is the best way for me getting where I want to be. Sure, it is not always pink and fluffy, but it is all the time precious lessons we need to learn in order to be prepared for handling what will come to us. I’m even taking notes!
So, please remember this the next time you feel at the end of the road and your powers. You are on the good way: YOURS! Be confident that it will get you to the destination and be open to what it has to offer to you. But most of all, learn from it! And…enjoy it! There is no success without pain! Make your pain constructive, not destructive. See it as a challenge and accept it (like they used to do in the movies), then win it. And if you get defeated, see what you’ve done wrong and improve yourself. Next time you will be better prepared. But all the time enjoy the adventure! Because life is a beautiful adventure and we only get to live it once!
Also, don’t forget that you are not alone. When you need help, all you need to do is ask it!